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Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2

2004, Movie, PG, 85 mins

Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2: Review

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Entirely too convoluted for kids and implausible even by the standards set by the original concept — baby-talking infants are actually superintelligent beings who can communicate with one another — this sequel to Bob Clark's 1999 kid flick begs one very basic question: Did we really need BABY GENUISES in the first place? Young marrieds Stan and Jean Bobbins (Scott Baio, Vanessa Angel) team up with media mogul Bill Biscane (Jon Voight) to launch a huge new children's TV network from their day-care center, BobbinsWorld. Unbeknownst to Stan and Jean, it's all part of Biscane's plot to control the minds of his young viewers and, eventually, dominate the world. Meanwhile, four tiny BobbinsWorld tots — Stan and Jean's son Archie (Michael and Max Iles) and his pals Finkelman (Jordan and Jared Scheideman), Alex (Joshua and Maxwell Lockhart) and Rosita (Maia and Keana Bastidas) — swap stories of the legendary Kahuna (Leo, Myles and Gerry Fitzgerald), an older kid (he's at least seven) who fights crime. When Jean's adolescent niece, Kylie (Skyler Shaye), who's disappointed that a popular boy doesn't think she's dateable, decides to take the tots out for a walk and clear her head, she accidentally winds up with the valuable computer disk Biscane needs for his satellite feed. Soon Biscane's henchmen are after the teen, and it's the mysterious Kahuna to the rescue: He whisks the group away to his secret hideout and, thanks to a series of flashbacks, we all learn the origin of Kahuna's superpowers and of his longstanding rivalry with Biscane. Then Kahuna teaches the talking toddlers how to channel their own inner superheroes. It is a little unnerving to watch small babies speaking with voices of older kids, and things only get weirder with a subplot involving secret World War II-era experiments, bizarre inventions, sibling rivalry and the discovery that Kahuna is really a middle-aged man trapped in a pint-size body. Those viewers young enough to still be babbling like the on-screen babies may be enthralled by the movie's bright color scheme, the Kahuna's Willy Wonka-style hideout and the sight of costumed kids fighting off adult criminals. But anyone old enough to appreciate Clark's A CHRISTMAS STORY (1983) would probably rather shoot their eye out than sit through this. leave a comment --Angel Cohn
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