Small Soldiers

Feel a little queasy at the sight of row upon row of hypertrophic, armed-to-the-eyeballs action figures at Toys 'R' Us? Well, check out Chip Hazard's dirty half-dozen and weep: Driven by smart technology intended for military applications, his commando squad is designed to destroy the gentle Gorgonites, whose fierce appearance belies their pacifist programming. "You put munitions chips in toys?" wails old-fashioned designer Irvin (David Cross) to the associate (Jay Mohr) who's done just that in hopes of impressing the rapacious mogul (Denis Leary) who's itching to shut down their outmoded little toy company. Two days before the plastic warriors go on sale off...