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Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer: The Movie: Review

RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER: THE MOVIE
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An insipid reworking of the holiday tale of poor little reindeer Rudolph, whose glowing nose makes him an outcast. The son of Mitzi and Blitzen, one of the chosen eight who pull Santa's sleigh on Christmas Eve, Rudolph grows up ashamed of his shiny red nose. His peers taunt him -- with the conspicuous exception of nice little doe Zoey, who's inexplicably dating Arrow, a mean-spirited bully -- and at the annual Reindeer Games he wins a crucial race only to be disqualified because his nose distracted other competitors. Frustrated and ashamed, Rudolph runs away from home, befriends a polar bear and a fox, and eventually proves his mettle by rescuing Zoey from scary Queen Stormella. It's all harmless and filled with unimpeachably positive messages: Being different isn't wrong, people deserve second chances, cheating is bad and telling the truth is good. With the exception of some lovely snowfalls, the animation is garish and cheap-looking, though the celebrity voice cast is an entertaining brew: John Goodman and Debbie Reynolds as the kindly Mr. And Mrs. Claus, Whoopi Goldberg as Stormella, Richard Simmons as an elf, Eric Idle as the fox and Bob Newhart as Leonard the Polar Bear, who isn't half as alarming as he first appears. The songs were crafted by Al Kasha and Michael Lloyd, seasoned purveyors of popular pap, and it's hard to imagine the viewer who will be able to hum a single one after the movie's over. The only memorable tunes aren't theirs: the classic "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," covered by Clint Black, and Paul McCartney and Wings' annoyingly catchy "(Simply Having) A Wonderful Christmas Time." You could park a small child in front of this picture and buy yourself a quiet hour and a half, but it doesn't hold a candle to the quirky 1964 puppet-animated version narrated by Burl Ives, a holiday TV perennial that's as eccentrically enchanting as it was more than 30 years ago. leave a comment --Maitland McDonagh
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