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Pleasurecraft

1999, Movie, R, 90 mins

Pleasurecraft: Review

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It's the Love Boat with a capital L, except that this boat is actually a spaceship, and its crew confuses L-U-S-T with L-O-V-E. A company man, Captain Jason Harris (Juan Carlos) is reluctant to defy orders, no matter how deplorable. Because his increasingly horny officers have been without women for too long, they're not enthusiastic about a new mission that involves guarding secret cargo. As the crew stifles mutinous thoughts, aliens attack, with an eye to nabbing the mysterious shipment. After blasting the attackers, Harris discovers he's transporting space-babes. Residents of the planet Credos, Reva (Brandy Davis), Deena (Tamie Hannum) and Junet (Amber Newman) have been tagged as gifts to the Hutian ambassadors back in civilization. After the vessel is forced to land for emergency repairs, the cuties (who can read minds and strip at a moment's notice) bewitch the love-starved astronauts. Will the nubile maidens use their superior minds and busts to control the ship's destination? This isn't a movie; it's a scanty fashion show featuring some weather-beaten runway models. To put it charitably, the toothy (rather than toothsome) leading ladies aren't Playmate-of-the-month material and the acting (by cast members of both sexes) suggests that the influence of Ed Wood lives on. Even with the novelty value of soft-core sci-fi, the script is pretty threadbare: Screenwriter Louise Dunkirk's idea of dramatic conflict is to provide three bimbos for the crew of four (five, if you count one neglected android). Although this sexcapade isn't unduly smutty or vulgar, it proves there's no bottom to the inane depths of fantasies involving large breasts and small IQs. leave a comment --Robert Pardi
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