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Our Lips Are Sealed

2000, Movie, G, 89 mins

Our Lips Are Sealed: Review

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While adhering to the standard Olsen-Twins formula — chaste romance, travelogue scenery, oodles of "with-it" fashions — this teenybopper frolic compensates for its limitations with humor. Maddie (Mary-Kate Olsen) and Abby (Ashley Olsen) Parker yearn to be popular at school. Instead they find themselves propelled into a national spotlight when they accidentally thwart the Mafia-backed theft of the fabled Kneel Diamond by squirting ketchup on a fleeing bandit, who panics because he thinks he's been shot. What they don't realize is that the crook slipped the bauble into one of their knapsacks. The Parker Twins testify in court, angering Mafia don Emil Hatchew (Robert Miano), so the Parker Family has to enter the Federal Witness Protection Program. After repeatedly inadvertently revealing their true identities, the twins exhaust the patience of their FBI overseers, who give them one last chance to start over in Sydney, Australia. Although their parents enjoy their new roles as innkeepers, the twins have some trouble adjusting to life down under. Then just as they gain entree into the in-crowd at school, Hatchew sends thugs Mac (Jason Clarke) and Sidney (Richard Carter) to reclaim the hot rock. Mac and Sidney bide their time until Mr. and Mrs. Parker go out of town to celebrate their anniversary. Fortunately, two cute surfer classmates help the Parker girls outwit the bungling hoods. The twins eventually realize they have the diamond, and must figure out how to deliver Emil into the FBI's hands without skipping an all-important surfing competition. Full of little life-lessons about fitting in with your peers, this smartly tailored vehicle for the popular Olsen girls gets impressive comic mileage out of spoofing the Mafia. Sure, the movie owes a huge debt to HOME ALONE (1990), but fans won't mind; they get to see the girls talk like Aussies and learn how to be better people. leave a comment --Robert Pardi
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