Dana Carvey, of TV's "Saturday Night Live," follows other "SNL" players to a starring role in the movies with OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS, in which he plays a small-time Chicago con man who gets involved in a very complicated scam. Unfortunately, despite some funny moments, Carvey's big-screen
bid is for the most part dull and predictable. Eddie (Carvey) is a likable (but unlikely) thief who, along with his roommate and partner, Lou (Todd Graff), also bilks people for a living. The pair are first seen together when Lou is "hit" by a car. While Lou complains of alleged injuries and lost
work, Eddie talks the driver into giving Lou some money to avoid a lawsuit. Next, they attempt to rob a house by dressing up as gas company repairmen, but are unsuccessful. Frustrated by this failure, Eddie and Lou do some old-fashioned breaking and entering. While they're in the midst of cleaning
out a house, the phone rings, triggering the answering machine. The recording announces that the homeowner will be away on business for many weeks, after which the caller leaves a message saying he won't be able to house-sit. It's a crook's dream come true, and the booty they reap from the
abandoned domicile allows the thieves to pay money owed to hefty hood Pinkie (Mike Bacarella). After settling up, Eddie wins part of the loot back in a bet. However, Pinkie reneges on the wager and tosses the two out of a pool hall. Angry and humiliated, they take Pinkie's car for a joy ride and
eventually ditch the vehicle, but not before taking $60,000 left in the trunk--money belonging to mobster Sal (James Tolkan). This precipitates an unpleasant visit from some thugs who come to shake down the pair, although Eddie for some reason attempts to ward them off by using a Japanese accent.
Needless to say, this doesn't work. But the implausibilities don't stop here: after a chase, Eddie and Lou split up, the former repairing to the house they robbed earlier, where he literally makes himself at home. The next morning, the owner's parents, Milt and Mona Malkin (Robert Loggia and Doris
Belack), drop by unexpectedly. Assuming that Eddie is their son's house-sitter--whom they have conveniently never met even though he and their son are close friends--the Malkins promptly give Eddie $300, the housekeys, and their son's car. They also invite him to lunch, where he meets their
attractive daughter, Annie (Julia Campbell), and learns that Milt is a wealthy vendor of bathroom appliances. However, although he's quick on his feet, Eddie is unable to come up with a clever business scam to fleece Milt. Anxious and confused about the fix he's gotten himself into, Eddie consults
with his mentor, veteran con artist Max (Milo O'Shea). Max advises him to get close to Annie, counsel Eddie follows, and it isn't long before romance is developing between Eddie and Annie. To top it off, the gracious Milt gives Eddie a job as an ad executive. Later, Eddie returns home to find Sal
and his buddies using Lou as a punching bag. The gangsters want their money, and Eddie promises to get them $180,000 stored in Milt's office safe. In the uninvolving scenes that follow, Eddie gives Sal the $180,000 and gets him to participate in an elaborate wrecking scam masterminded by Max and
his partner, Connie (Sally Gracie). On the evening the illegal demolition deal is to be finalized, the Malkins once again show up at the house unexpectedly. While Eddie thinks up false identities for Max and Connie, the Malkins' son makes his way home from the airport, threatening to blow Eddie's
cover for good. The con artists manage to make it to their rendezvous with Sal in time to deliver the gangster a bogus contract in exchange for enough money for them all to retire, but Eddie suddenly has an attack of conscience, returns to the house, and confesses to the Malkin family. At the
film's end, Sal is arrested and Eddie and Annie reunite.
Despite a talented cast and some good production values (in particular the cinematography), OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS is a disappointing feature and an unremarkable vehicle for Carvey. Mitchel Katlin and Nat Bernstein's screenplay is tailor-made for Carvey's familiar accents and impressions, but none of
these are integrated into the feeble plot and, except for providing a few chuckles, they don't sustain the film on their own. Carvey is obviously a talented comedian, but his lack of big-screen presence here makes him unconvincing as either a likable con artist or a love interest. (Profanity.) leave a comment