Question: What's the longest film title ever? I know Dr. Strangelove, Marat/Sade and one of the Planet of the Apes films must rank up there!

Answer: As my regular readers know, I'm always leery about superlatives — "first," "most," what have you — for a variety of reasons. Most people cite Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Alien, Flesh Eating, Hellbound, Zombified Living Dead Part 2: In Shocking 2-D (1991) as the longest English-language title of all time, but it's clearly a gimmicky joke — the movie it's attached to is actually Night of the Living Dead (1968) with new, "comic" dialogue à la Blobermouth (1991). So I'd rather go with real movies whose titles are at least nominally straight-faced (note that I did say "nominally"), like The Persecution and Assassination of Jean-Paul Marat as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade (1967) — commonly abbreviated as Marat/Sade — or The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-up Zombies (1964).