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Mob Story

1990, Movie, PG-13, 90 mins

Mob Story: Review

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So dismally unfunny that without the goofy music you probably wouldn't realzie it was a comedy, this well-nigh incomprehensible Mafia spoof appears to have been inspired (if "inspired" is the word) by the success of MARRIED TO THE MOB (1988). Organized crime boss Luciano (John Vernon) returns to New York, where his right hand man, Sam (Al Waxman), is secretly plotting to depose him. Instead of continuing on to Palm Springs as scheduled, Luciano takes a nostalgic trip to Winipeg, Canada, to see Maria (Diana Barrington), the old flame who married his brother, Alfredo. Since Luciano had Alfredo killed, Maria is less than happy to see him and is in any event preoccuopied with her own problems; inept local hood Gianni Romano (Robert Morelli) and his gum-cracking girlfriend, former exotic dancer Dolores (Margot Kidder), are trying to shake down Maria's failing trattoria for protection money. The light of Maria's life is her son, Tom (Angelo Pedari), who aspires to be a mailman and is dating the local TV station's "Sunshine Girl," Mindy Roberts (Kate Vernon, John's daughter); weathergirl Mindy is torn between Tom and slick anchorman Lance (Eric Zivot). Maria has been keeping a big secret from Tom: His "Uncle Luciano" from New York is really his father. And Luciano has been keeping a big secret from Maria: He didn't have her husband killed — the deadbeat stole $3 million from Luciano and absconded to Venezuela with some tramp. A bomb goes off in Luciano's Palm Springs condominuium and the news media report that he's dead; Gianni and Dolores, who've seen Luciana at Maria's place, try to use the knowledge that he's alive to their advantage. Luciano, meanwhile, lets the duplicitous Sam know he's fine and in Canada, so Sam sends a pair of incompetent hitmen (Mike Giottli, Neil Lawrie) and sadistic German assassin Heinrich (Brian Paul), who likes to lick the barrel of his gun before shooting his victims, to Winipeg to finish the job. No hilarity ensues, unless you count the scene in which Heinrich tries the gun-licking thing in sub-zero Canadian temperatures and gets his tongue frozen to the metal. Badly shot, ineptly edited and horribly acted. leave a comment --Maitland McDonagh
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