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Men Cry Bullets

1999, Movie, NR, 106 mins

Men Cry Bullets: Review

MEN CRY BULLETS
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A candy-colored, willfull little oddball of a movie, John Waters by way of Russ Meyer (circa FASTER, PUSSYCAT...) with a touch of Almodovar. Poor little mother-fixated Billy (Steven Nelson, who resembles a soft-faced James Spader) has just made his drag debut, lip-synching "Besame Mucho" in a red dress to die for, when hellcat Gloria (Honey Lauren) comes along and spoils it all. Convinced that Billy is trying to steal her boyfriend, Gloria — a vision in scarlet lipstick, hip-huggers and a Bettie Page coif — rips off Billy's wig and throws a shrieking tantrum that spoils the magic of the moment. The odd thing is that Billy, humiliated and miserable though he is, can't get Gloria out of his mind; when he learns that the cigar-smoking, arm-wrestling, trash-talking firebrand is also the pseudonymous author of his favorite books, Billy is lost. His affair with Gloria is full of lunatic scenes, verbal abuse and broken crockery, but the trouble really starts when her cousin Lydia (Jeri Ryan), a Southern belle who's spent her life coasting on her cotton-candy blond good looks, sashays into the picture. Lydia kills Gloria's pet pot-bellied pig and serves him up for dinner. Gloria orders Billy to kill Lydia ("I'm a drag queen, not a murderer," he whimpers), but his attempt to poison her with rat poison dissolved in red wine ("I'm too pretty to die," howls Lydia piteously) somehow turns into a three-way orgy that just confuses matters further. On the plus side, this handsomely art-directed flight of fancy features dwarves, infantilists, a guy who swings weights from his nipples, a contortionist, worm-eating, a nightclub MC named Freddie Fishnets (Harry Ralston) and that pot-bellied pig. The downside is that it all feels like a big in-joke, and you're not in on it. Ralston produced his debut feature, the equally cultish LAST MAN (2000), in tandem with this picture. He and Tamara Hernandez, both first-time filmmakers, agreed to split what should have been the production budget for a single film and make two; they should be commended for their resourcefulness. leave a comment --Maitland McDonagh
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