Lost & Found

1999, Movie, PG-13, 98 mins


Love that cute-as-a-button cairn terrier, but the rest of the movie really stinks. Unlucky-at-love restauranteur Dylan Ramsey (David Spade) is desperate to put the moves on his beautiful new neighbor, a sophisticated French cellist named Lila (Sophie Marceau). After he has returned her wayward dog Jack several times, inspiration strikes: The next time the dog runs away, he'll hold onto him for a while and pretend to help Lila search for Jack. Imagine how grateful she'll be when Dylan finally turns up with the missing bow-wow! Naturally, the first thing Jack does in Dylan's apartment is eat a diamond ring Jack is holding onto for his business partner. So Jack has to stay until the ring is, um, retrieved. Meanwhile, Lila's insufferable ex-fiance Rene (Patrick Bruel) is back on the scene, determined to win her back. Director Jeff Pollack, of BOOTY CALL infamy, isn't a subtle guy. That could be okay, if he had any sense of comic pacing at all. But he doesn't: He doesn't even have the common sense not to shoot the seated Marceau with the camera placed somewhere around the level of her knees: Viewers are forced, for no good or funny reason, to look up her dress at her underpants (at least she's wearing some). Of course, that's a relatively minor offense when considered next to the scene in which obligatory fat moron Wally (Artie Lang, who seems to have been cast solely for his resemblance to the late Chris Farley) paddles around in a pile of dog excrement. And we haven't even gotten to the quartet of potty-mouthed old broads playing strip poker, or the child molestation joke that apparently struck someone as so funny that it's done twice. Even Spade's most dedicated fans would probably be better off staying home and watching a Just Shoot Me rerun. leave a comment --Maitland McDonagh

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