Concocted by VICE ACADEMY auteur Rick Sloane, GOOD GIRLS DON'T is cut-rate sexploitation comedy about girls on the run.
Jeannie (Renee Estevez), is a naive, feminist secretary. Bettina (Julia Parton) is a tough, worldly stripper, hired by Jeannie's sexist boss to impress a client. He propositions Jeannie. She objects, and he fires her. Bettina performs, but the boss stiffs her for her fee. Stamping out, she
mistakenly grabs a bag containing $500,000. Jeannie and Bettina, now bosom buddies, decide to split with the loot. When Jeannie's slimeball cop boyfriend Montana (Christopher Knight) discovers the boss strangled with a garter, he accuses the girls. Pursued by Montana and the real murderers, a gang
of crooks led by Wilhemina (Mary Woronov), Jeannie and Bettina kidnap winsome cop Cody (Dan Wildman). He saves them from the bad guys and convinces them to surrender. They go to prison, get released, are snatched by Wilhemina, saved by Cody, save Cody etc. In the end Cody and Jeannie ride into the
sunset, and Bettina gets to sing the Blues, her life ambition. Viewers will be singing the blues from the start.
GOOD GIRLS DON'T is a self-conciously bad pastiche of B-movie homages and corny gags but lacks the cheesy energy of the genres it tries to parody. Bob Hayes' videography is painful, the editing drags, and Alan Dermarderosian's unimaginative score sounds muddy. Nobody acts in GOOD GIRLS DON'T; the
script doesn't permit it. Gags are relentless, but unfunny, the few that actually work a welcome relief (after girls and gangsters have a huge, harmless shootout, Cody explodes the villains' car with one shot). Perpetual profanity and a clinical examination of Bettina's breasts best exemplify the
level of the humor. GOOD GIRLS DON'T is supposed to spoof THELMA AND LOUISE but it's a joyless joke. As a parody of crud in general, it's indistinguishable from the real thing. (Extensive nudity, profanity.) leave a comment
