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Final Destination 3

2006, Movie, R, 92 mins

Final Destination 3: Review

FINAL DESTINATION 3
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You'd think the FINAL DESTINATION franchise would be tough to screw up: All you need is a spectacular opening catastrophe from which a group of good-looking teenagers walk away unscathed, thus cheating death, followed by four or five good and gory set-pieces in which Death claims the lives that were meant to be his at the very beginning. But like SAW II (2005), another grisly sequel to a film that seemed to have hit on a foolproof formula, this third DESTINATION blows it, big time. This time out, the opening disaster is a horrible roller-coaster crash at a local amusement park. High-school senior Wendy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) has a highly detailed premonition about the grisly accident that causes her to panic just enough to get herself and a group of fellow students thrown off the coaster just moments before it starts. Those unlucky enough to take the ride — including Wendy's boyfriend, Jason (Jesse Moss) — are either thrown to their deaths when the safety harnesses pop open or horribly mangled after the cars careen off the tracks. Close call for Wendy, Kevin (Ryan Merriman), Lewis (Texas Battle), Ian (Kris Lemche), Frankie (Sam Easton) and the rest, but Death won't be ignored. Soon the temporarily reprieved students begin dying in a series of freak accidents, in the exact order in which they would have been killed had they remained on the roller-coaster. Wendy also notices that the photos taken of the survivors shortly before the accident contain obscure clues that hint at their impending doom, but how should she decipher the photos and convince the others that they're about to be visited by the Grim Reaper? A weight room, a Home Depot-type superstore, a fast-food drive-thru and tanning beds that double as George Foreman Grills all become evil death traps from which no one can escape, at least not for long. The downtime between deaths has never been duller, and the Rube Goldberg-type death scenes are so poorly staged that it's difficult to figure out what's about to happen and to whom. Details coagulate into confusing, suspenseless blurs that are suddenly punctuated by gory punch lines in which a head pops like a pimple and bodies are sliced, diced and squished into bloody smears. Good use of the Vogue's creepy "Turn Around" on the soundtrack, though. leave a comment --Ken Fox
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