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Evil Aliens

2005, Movie, NR, 93 mins

Evil Aliens: Review

EVIL ALIENS
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RAZOR BLADE SMILE (1998) writer-director Jake West's sci-fi/horror spoof is knowing, silly and jaw-droppingly disgusting, which is no doubt exactly what he intended. Scalleum Island, off the northern coast of Wales: In the middle of the night, in the middle of a circle of stones dubbed the "Devil's teeth," local farm girl Cat Williams (Jennifer Evans) and hitchhiker Angelo Jones (Eden Ford) are in the middle of knocking boots when something crashes into the ground nearby. Before you can say coitus interruptus, Angelo is aboard a flying saucer being anal-probed to death, and Cat is impregnated with an alien child. Needless to say, her story meets with disbelief, but a week later it catches the eye of Michelle "Foxy" Fox (Emily Booth), host of the cable show "Weird Worlde." In desperate need of an audience-grabbing episode, Michelle heads up to Wales with cameraman Rickey (Samuel Butler) and soundman Jack (Peter McNeil O'Connor), pimply, uber-geeky UFO expert Gavin Gorman (Jamie Honeybourne), and a pair of thespians — drag performer Bruce (Nick Smithers) and porn star Candy Vixen (Jodie Shaw) — who will star in the all-important dramatic re-enactments. Hugely pregnant Cat and her three older brothers, Llyr (Chris Adamson), Dai (Mark Richard Hayes) and Thomas (Chris Thomas) — who not only don't speak English but spit at the mere mention of the language — are the only residents of the desolate island, which is completely cut off from the mainland except at low tide. The only thing the Williams brothers have in common with the TV people is that they think Cat's story is a crock, but they all soon learn otherwise: Scalleum is fairly crawling with, well, evil aliens that look vaguely like the otherworldly hunters of PREDATOR (1987) and get their kicks mutilating cattle and ripping the limbs off unwary humans. Let the bloodletting begin! West crams allusions to everything from THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE (1974) to QUATERMASS 2 (1957), and seems determined to challenge Peter Jackson's DEAD ALIVE (1992) for the title of most fake blood ever used in a single film. While nowhere near as witty as SHAUN OF THE DEAD (2004), it has a rude energy and a go-for-broke willingness to try anything, from three-breasted alien babes to alien disposal by combine harvester. Plus it's scored to a cheeky parody of Melanie's "I've Got a Brand-New Pair of Roller-skates." leave a comment --Maitland McDonagh
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