"What is this?" asks Park Avenue liberal Bob (Alan Alda) about some bit of familial chaos. "Noel Coward with hockey?" We wish. This misbegotten musical mishmash is predicated on the willfully wrongheaded notion that American popular songs of the '30s and '40s -- from "My Baby
Just Cares for Me" to "Makin' Whoopie" -- are strong enough to withstand the most amateurish performance. They're not. Director Woody Allen cast the project without regard for musical training or inclination, and the results are deeply mixed: Goldie Hawn, Tim Roth and Alda can sing; Allen, Edward
Norton and Julia Roberts can't. Drew Barrymore seems to be able to, but she's dubbed. This leaden ...