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Escapes

1987, Movie, NR, 72 mins

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Vincent Price narrates this limp horror anthology, telling audiences at the beginning that they will see 10 tales. Actually, there are only half that many, but, given the quality of the stories, that's a blessing. In the first story, a man out fishing picks up an apple on the shore. Taking a bite, he finds a hook in his mouth. A line leading under the water starts to pull and reels him in. In the next tale, a young messenger finds himself lost in the mountains. He disregards an old man's instructions to slow down and have a cup of coffee, and instead finds himself going around in circles until he is trapped in the local diner, somehow forced to spend eternity slowly sipping a cup of java. Next we are presented with a fat jogger who is chased through the woods by horrible beasts until he falls down and one of them runs up to him, touches him, and says, "Tag; you're it." The fourth story concerns an old woman who has tried to make a living from the meager gleanings of gold on her mountain. One night a flying saucer crashes into her barn. She goes out and clears the debris from it, and the machine takes off, leaving the ground where it crashed glittering with gold, apparently having exposed the mother lode in its crash. The last story concerns a thief who steals a magic crystal from a bum who uses it to make food appear. The robber is promptly run over by a car, but the bum recovers the stone, heals the robber, and brings a police car to arrest him, having put a purse and knife in his hands magically. Not a single one of the stories is at all worthwhile, with only the second showing a little style. Most of them are excessively padded; all were shot in northern California with an amateurish cast.
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