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Dirty Love

2005, Movie, R, 95 mins

Dirty Love: Review

DIRTY LOVE
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Dedicated to everyone who thinks those Sex and the City girls are too prissy by half, this dyspeptic exploration of modern romance was written by TV-star Jenny McCarthy, who tailored its vulgar slapstick to her own apparently endless willingness to be the butt of raunchy gags. Los Angeles photographer Rebecca (McCarthy) thinks she's found the One in successful model Richard Huntington (Victor Webster), until the day she walks in on him in bed with another woman. After she finishes howling "Oh, my god, oh, my God, OH, MY GOD!!!!!!" and pathetically shaking her be-thonged behind at random Hollywood Boulevard passersby (that no one's the least bit interested just makes her feel worse), Rebecca turns to her girlfriends, slutty aspiring "actress" Carrie (Kam Heskin) and faux-banji girl Michelle (Carmen Electra), for advice. Their advice — to get right back into the swing of things — sends her on a series of rebound dates, each worse than the one before. The hottie Rebecca chats up in the shoe department seems promising until his much-older sugar mama interrupts their flirtation and the encounter devolves into a three-way slapping contest. Then there are the two TV directors, each "one chromosome removed from Woody Allen" that she and Carrie double date; Rebecca's nebbish vomits down her ample cleavage. Jake (David O'Donnell) plies Rebecca with ecstasy and lures her to bed with the promise of kinky thrills, only to greet her nude with a dead bass stuffed somewhere common sense and decency dictate it shouldn't be. There's the magician (Guillermo Diaz) who gets them both arrested, and biker Kevin (Lochlyn Munro), whose enthusiasm for pleasuring ladies with his tongue greatly exceeds his skill. Before Rebecca finally realizes that her nice, sensitive, supportive and not-bad-looking friend John (Eddie Kaye Thomas), adores her, there are nasty and extended gags about fishy odors, menstrual mishaps and bikini waxes to be endured. For a film directed by the star's husband (McCarthy and John Mallory Asher subsequently divorced, though suggesting a causal relationship might be a reach), the lighting and makeup are exceptionally harsh; all the women look shockingly rough beneath their garish makeup. The pacing is consistently off, and McCarthy's idea of the height of wit appears to be having guest-star Kathy Griffin, doing a high-school drama league impersonation of a snippy psychic named "Madame Belly," demand, "What do I look like, a comedian?" leave a comment --Maitland McDonagh
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