An unbelievably cheap adventure yarn, CURSE OF THE CRYSTAL EYE opens with desert tribesmen escaping their pursuers by entering a secret cave. The movie then cuts to "Jahalabad, 1989" where, after a gun battle, mercenaries Luke Ward (Jameson Parker), Frenchie (Andre Jacobs), and Tyke
(Johnny Noble) are rewarded by their chieftain employer with a book of clues to a fortune hidden away "before recorded time." They are sent to Bombay, where the chieftain's brother gives them a large crystal; between it and the book, anthropologist Emilio Ferrari (David Sherwood) believes, they
can find the loot. Tagging along, attracted to Luke, is Vickie Phillips (Cynthia Rhodes), daughter of the US ambassador. Local entrepreneur Nosakis (Anton Stolz) offers to finance an expedition in exchange for half the bounty, and they set off, with Luke now sporting a cheap-looking Indiana Jones
outfit.
The truck caravan is followed by Hashim (Mike Lane) and his thugs, who have already staged several attacks on Luke to get the crystal. The expedition finds the mountain and the crystal activates the hidden opening. The explorers slowly work their way through the mountain, facing a succession of
hazards and obstacles, all overcome by the crystal and/or Ferrari's interpretation of the book's clues, and they eventually discover a cavern full of gold and jewels. The treasure loaded onto two trucks, Luke and his friends are attacked by Hashim, who is killed--along with Frenchie--in the fight.
Back in Bombay, Nosakis makes a play to take all the treasure, but the ensuing chase wrecks the trucks, and the riches are grabbed by the onlooking crowds. Nosakis is arrested, and Luke muses that the treasure has been rightfully returned "to the people from whose ancestors it was taken." As Luke
and Vickie head off into the sunset, a voiceover informs us that they intend to return to the mountain for the rest of the treasure.
Though filled with dreadful dialogue, Mike Angel's screenplay at least deserves points for sheer audacity: the threadbare adventures lead to nothing less than the fabled Ali Baba's vast, undiscovered treasure. Angel and director Joseph Tornatore (NIGHT FORCE, GROTESQUE) are aiming for an INDIANA
JONES flavor, but the story is more reminiscent of Jules Verne's Journey to the Center of the Earth, as the explorers cope with tunnels, revolving stone doors, rockslides, narrow, crumbling rock ledges, shooting (if anemic) spouts of fire, rope bridges over a quicksand swamp, a blood-red
waterfall, a "bottomless" chasm crossed on a natural-helium-filled carpet, and a really big snake. Unfortunately, all these special effects (by John Hartigan) and accompanying stuntwork are dismally unconvincing and editor Erica Luttich often quickly cuts away from them, which gives the picture a
choppy feel. Even the '30s and '40s poverty row studio adventure serials handled most of these same, already tired elements in better style. Tornatore's direction is amateurish; the action sequences and chases are static, and he even manages to spoil some authentic-looking exterior locations in
Mauritius and Namibia. Stars Jameson Parker and Cynthia Rhodes actually look embarrassed, and since they lack any sort of chemistry, attempts at ROMANCING THE STONE-like banter fail completely. This innocuously PG-13 picture was released direct-to-video, although the distributor has put the
R-rated logo on the box, perhaps to spur sales and rentals. (Violence.) leave a comment
