Apparently the screenwriters responsible for this saloon saga have been reading too much William Saroyan. Anecdotal yet besotted with its own plot, COLD JUSTICE requires a scorecard more than a review; all the philosophizing bums and neighborhood bar heroes get lost in the shuffle.
With the yuppies nipping at their heels, long-time bar patrons self-pityingly cry into their beer. Former fight pro Keith Gibson (Roger Daltrey) wants to renounce petty crime and box his way back to glory. Amateur singer Pacito (Bert Rosario) longs to be the Puerto Rican Robert Goulet, but is
troubled by his senile father, Paco (Robert Carricart), who has lost his faith in the Church. Unwed, slightly retarded Debbie (Bridget O'Connell) frets about her pregnancy, catches the baby's fickle father making out with a barmaid and loses her job. Into all these inconsequential, drab lives
comes Father Jim (Dennis Waterman), an unconventional British priest who meddles as often as he drinks--which is often. No one pays attention when pesky wino-cynic Ernie (Ralph Foody) points out that, despite Father Jim's claims, there were no English chaplains in the American armed services.
Instead, they trust the priest with the proceeds of their benefit fundraiser.
But where is this trusted advisor when Debbie buys a gun and ends her life, or when Gibson loses his sight as a result of boxing in a rigged bout, or when barkeep Stan (Ron Dean) cowers because he thinks he's angered local mobster Mr. Swan (Joe Greco)? Clearly the charlatan priest is too busy
dreaming up cons when the chips are down. Although Father Jim gets his greedy paws on Paco's secret lottery winnings, he makes the mistake of absconding with the charity loot which contains a generous gift from Mr. Swan. The mobster does not like being ripped off; it's a point of pride for him.
Divine retribution strikes Father Jim when Mr. Swan and his henchman catch up with the fake priest. Fittingly, they crucify him.
Exactly what is the point of this peripatetic examination of faith in one's fellow man? That one should check the references of foreign clerics? That crotchety old alcoholics are better at spotting phonies than less accomplished drunks? That mentally impaired girls should wear condoms when dating
hockey- loving romeos? Worn down by more intertwined storylines than you'll find in any three Robert Altman movies, the audience stuck with COLD JUSTICE can only wonder whether the film's losers are simply incredibly dense or perpetually inebriated.
It's distressing to see Daltrey and Penelope Milford wasted here, but it's downright perplexing to read star Dennis Waterman's name listed as one of the writers and producers. Did he really think that this watered-down pitcher of highballs was a juicy showcase for his talents? If so, he's as
deluded as the lost souls Father Jim cons. Actually, the entire cast should fall down on its knees and pray for career guidance. (Violence, profanity, adult situations.) leave a comment
