Cheap Shots

Louie Constantine (Zorich) is a lazy, aging, henpecked Greek immigrant innkeeper who purchased his business, Constantine's Kozy Kabins, from Franklin (Clarke Gordon), his eccentric and presumably well-heeled father-in-law. Louie is a dreamer who intends someday to transform his decaying operation into a major hotel chain, but his monumental slothfulness prevents him from making even the most badly needed repairs on the leaky roof of his generally dilapidated inn. TV watching, beer guzzling and the exhortations of Dotty (Mary Louise Wilson), his shrewish wife, comprise Louie's life, along with daily morning visits with Arnold Posner (David Patrick Kelly), his one permanent tenant and best friend. Together, Louie and Arnold sip coffee and gossip about the other tenants. It would appear that nothing is ever going to happen to relieve the boredom of Louie's life.

Then one day a tenant, a deadbeat biker (Judson Camp), disappears without paying his long overdue rent. In lieu of money, however, the biker leaves behind a portable video camera and recorder. In a nearby cabin resides a voluptuous blonde (Patience Moore) and Paul (John Galateo), her mysterious boyfriend. Louie and Arnold think how much fun it might be to hook up the camera and video recording equipment over the bed in the blonde's cabin. This feat accomplished secretly, Louie and Arnold lustfully begin to view the couple's sexual bedroom antics.

Later, Louie is informed by his friend Jack (Michael Twaine), a corrupt health department inspector who has shielded Louie from the law for years, that he can no longer help Louie cover up the devastation at his rundown New York state motel unless Louie comes up with $8,000 to repair the septic tank. Discouraged, Louie unwittingly leaves the videotape running while he pouts elsewhere. Not until he plays back the tape does he discover what the camera has captured: the couple's brutal murder by two dark killers.

Louie's life becomes a nightmare when he realizes that he can't go to the police to report the murders without revealing his own crime of voyeurism. He also can't get the $8,000 from his father-in-law who, it turns out, squandered all his money years ago. Nor can he avoid contact with the killers who come back looking for the incriminating videotape. (How the killers became aware of these tapes in the first place is never made clear.) Louie and Arnold scramble to remove all evidence of a camera or recording device by destroying both equipment and tapes. Unhappily for them, the returning killers don't believe Louie and Arnold when they try to explain about how they've already destroyed the evidence. Foolishly, Louie decides upon a course of blackmail, figuring that he can flee the country with the killers' cash before handing over the non-existent tapes. For Louie, this decision proves to be a fatal mistake.

While CHEAP SHOTS offers solid acting from Zorich, Kelly and company, that's about all this feature has to offer. Lackluster direction and an insipid screenplay fail to aid the cast in their vain attempt to breathe anything remotely resembling life into this incredibly dull and monotonous motion picture. (Profanity, sexual situations.) leave a comment