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Carnage

1986, Movie, NR, 91 mins

Carnage: Review

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Written, photographed, and directed in 1983 as HELL HOUSE, by Staten Island's favorite low-budget exploitation king, Milligan, this haunted-house/gore film is so bad it never saw a theatrical release and went straight to video. Shot in Milligan's usual home-movie style, CARNAGE opens with a bride and groom bidding each other a passionate goodbye before he shoots her in the head and then commits suicide. Three years later another newlywed couple, Den Dooven and Chiodo, move into the first couple's house, which of course is haunted. Tedious, talky, and incredibly inept, CARNAGE is laughably amateurish. Most scenes appear to be lit by one--very bright--light source, which illuminates the actors but leaves the rest of the set in darkness. The only way to pad out a cheap feature with a concept this lame is to have the characters talk and talk and talk without saying anything, so there are long, pointless conversations between Den Dooven and Chiodo, then between Den Dooven and her father (on the phone), and then between Den Dooven and the minister. There is even a subplot from hell, involving the collapsing marriage of Den Dooven's best friend (Baker), whom we watch talk with her mother for what seems like an eternity. These long passages of boredom are punctuated by unintentionally hilarious "special effects" sequences in which objects are supposed to be moving by themselves but are obviously being propelled by strings or even hands just out of frame. One could make a case that all these ineptitudes combine to form a perversely charming film, sort of like the short Super-8 films that ambitious teenagers make at home. Maybe so, but just try to imagine yourself sitting through a 90-minute home movie made by the neighborhood kids. If you can take that, you'll almost be ready to suffer through CARNAGE. leave a comment
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