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Beneath Loch Ness

2002, Movie, PG-13, 96 mins

Beneath Loch Ness: Review

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The spirit of grade-z schlock swims again in this throwback to American International drive-in fare. The Adventure Channel plans to electrify its ratings by sending renowned scientist Gus Egan (Dick Stillwell) and his team to Scotland. But the explorers get a chilly reception from both the Loch Ness locals and the monster, who's a conspicuous no show. Egan vanishes in the aftermath of a seismic disturbance before he and his divers can prove that Loch Ness is once a breeding ground for giant marine reptiles, and paleontologist Case Howell (Brian Wimmer) must fill in for his mentor. Howell squabbles over programming policy with Adventure Channel producer Elizabeth Borden (Lysette Anthony), who also happens to be his ex-wife; while she's busy exploiting the Egan tragedy, Howell hears the sad tale of Captain Richard Blay (Patrick Bergin), traumatized by the fishy death of his little boy. Meanwhile, a college prank intended to scare tourists (it involves the inevitable inflatable sea serpent) backfires when the real monster attacks one of the college kids. Though the local police constable quickly displays a dead sea creature he claims was responsible, Skipper Blay insists this trophy fish is too small to be the monster. Blay volunteers his services and descends to the creature's lair; Howell soon follows on a seek-and-destroy mission. As smart as he is huge, the behemoth proves slippery. Can Howell extricate Blay from harm's way and obliterate this prehistoric menace once and for all? Despite above-par underwater photography, this soggy sea-beast spectacular is ludicrous from the get-go, plodding along so dully that it's hard not to root against the heroic oceanographers. leave a comment --Robert Pardi
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