1992's BEETHOVEN was a 100% synthetic family-dog comedy that came along at the right time (or the wrong time, depending on one's sensibilities) and made a pile of money, thus necessitating Universal to come up with this dogged sequel.
Beethoven, the big, slobbering St. Bernard adopted by the clan of persnickety suburbanite George Newton (Charles Grodin), meets the love of his life, a female St. Bernard called Missy, in a public park. They are kept apart by Regina (Debi Mazar), who's extorting thousands from her gentle
ex-husband by withholding his beloved pet. Nonetheless, Beethoven gets Missy away from her gilded cage long enough to impregnate her. When Missy bears her puppies Regina first wants to drown them, but when she realizes that purebred St. Bernards can be sold at great profit she relentlessly pursues
the litter, who have been abducted by those pooch-loving Newton kids Emily (Sara Rose Karr) and Ted (Christopher Castile). The whole Newton clan, puppies included, go to a Montana resort town for a vacation; Regina and her thug partner Floyd (Christopher Penn) show up and spot the fugitive
canines. The villains are chased way up into the mountains, where helpless animals are threatened, battle is enjoined, and Regina and Floyd end up dunked in mud.
The first BEETHOVEN pic was co-written by that one-man family-comedy factory John Hughes (DENNIS THE MENACE, the HOME ALONE movies), using the pseudonym `Edmond Dantes.' BEETHOVEN'S 2ND doesn't bear the Hughes spoor but it carries his scent, as the second half becomes a retread of his 1988 Dan
Ayckroyd/John Candy potboiler THE GREAT OUTDOORS. The best feature remains Charles Grodin, doing his expert slow burns and controlled hysteria as the exasperated father. Mazar and Penn are ambulatory cartoons, meant to elicit groans of disgust each time they flash across the screen, just as
director Rod Daniel (TEEN WOLF) milks closeups of the puppies for maximum knee-jerk cuteness. Way down in the cast is George Hamilton's son Ashley, who found his way into People Magazine not only as one of 1993's "50 Most Beautiful People in the World" but also as the other half in a short-lived
marriage to tempestuous TV siren Shannen Doherty. His big BEETHOVEN debut, as a high-school heartthrob who tries to seduce teenager Ryce Newton (Nicholle Tom) in a throwaway gag, had politically-correct critics decrying the bland comedy for exploiting date rape--surely the funniest thing, onscreen
or off, connected with this harmless kiddie time-waster. If BEETHOVEN'S 2ND does damage to anyone, it should be the rock band Spin Doctors, condemned to lose their pseudo-hip alternative/indie music status forever for contributing one of their hits, "Jimmy Olsen's Blues" (A.K.A. the "Pocketful of
Kryptonite" song) to the soundtrack. (Violence, alcohol abuse.) leave a comment
