Baseketball

1998, Movie, R, 98 mins

Review

BASEKETBALL
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You know what's wrong with professional sports? You have to be, like, an athlete or something to get on the gravy train, and that's not fair to slack-ass doofuses like Coop (Trey Parker) and Remer (Matt Stone). So they invent a sport so lame that even they can excel, especially if they marshal their shameless gross-out skills to screw with their opponents' concentration. It's called BASEketball, it's basically an endless series of free throws interspersed with a whole lotta horsing around. Enter billionaire entrepreneur Denslow (Ernest Borgnine), who offers to make BASEketball a professional sport; the boys agree, as long as they stick to some proudly amateur rules: No trading players, no moving teams from one city to another, and no merchandising deals (though they can't do a thing about the corporate sponsorships that have left stadiums named after feminine-hygiene products). Five years later, Coop and Remer are stars, and about to be tempted by all the loot and booty the glitter dome has to offer... can our boys hold fast to their ideals? Combine the talents of elder statesman David Zucker, specialist in fast and furious, self-referential, pop culture-savvy lowbrow comedy (think AIRPLANE!) and the brash young creators of TV's potty-mouthed South Park, and what do you get? A potty-mouthed , self-referential lowbrow comedy with acres of babes: jill-of-all-trades Jenny McCarthy, former Baywatch gal Yasmine Bleeth, and scores of cheerleaders in ever-more salacious getups -- you won't want to miss the S&M cuties who do drill maneuvers with their bullwhips. Is it dumb? You bet. Is it funny? Sporadically. Alien-probe night at Roswell Stadium is pretty sharp, Remer squirting milk from his nipples (it's a psych-out) and crowing "Got milk?" isn't. leave a comment --Maitland McDonagh

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