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Armageddon

1998, Movie, PG-13, 150 mins

Armageddon: Review

ARMAGEDDON
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Move over, science weenies and military wonks: Saving the world from space junk is a job for Joe Six-Pack! We're informed by the voice of Moses (sorry, Charlton Heston), that 65,000,000 years ago an asteroid killed the dinosaurs, and it could happen again. Cut to the present: NASA engineer Dan Truman (Billy Bob Thornton) discovers that 18 days hence, the world's Filofaxes will be filled with "prepare to meet maker" notes unless someone comes up with a viable asteroid-busting plan. His strategy--familiar to anyone who saw DEEP IMPACT--involves sending a crew to nuke the space invader, and he bullies third-generation wildcat oil driller Harry Stamper (Bruce Willis) into helping drill a hole into which to drop the nuclear device. Stamper, of course, will only work with his own motley crew of grungy, authority-hating misfits, including hunky rig-rat A.J. (Ben Affleck), the surrogate son who precipitated an Oedipal crisis by romancing Stamper's daughter Grace (Liv Tyler). Sure, it's a glossy, supremely calculated, faux-populist thrill machine: You even get a sight-gag at Godzilla's expense for your ticket-buying dollars. Yes, it's a testosterone cocktail, but at least it doesn't leave you feeling as though you've been tumbled around in a gem polisher for two-and-a-half hours. Director Michael Bay has tamed the epileptic seizure-producing editing style that made THE ROCK such an eyeball-rattler. And if Bay makes the spectacle of crowds around the world preparing for their doom look like a series of epic Kodak moments, he also concocts a love scene built around A.J. slipping animal crackers into Grace's panties. "I wonder how many people are doing this same thing right now?" she muses sweetly. Now that's a question to get your teeth into. leave a comment --Maitland McDonagh
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