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3 Ninjas Knuckle Up

1995, Movie, PG-13, 94 mins

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This martial arts slapstick can only appeal to children who crave pint-sized role models who can throttle adults. Grown-ups will come away feeling violated by the film's clumsy comedy, ancient plot, and unimaginative action sequences.

During summer vacation with Grandpa (Victor Wong), the Ninja trio, Rocky (Michael Treanor), Colt (Max Elliott Slade), and Tum Tum (Chad Power), rescue Jo (Crystle Lightning), a young Native American damsel in distress, whose tribe is battling pollution. What the boys do not initially realize is that Jo's persecutors, led by J.J. (Patrick Kilpatrick), provide muscle for Jack Harding (Charles Napier), whose company dumps toxic waste in the countryside. Kidnapped by Harding's minions, Jo's dad Charlie (Donald L. Shanks) confiscates a computer disc that can draw unfavorable media attention to Harding's misdeeds. In a town of scared adults, Rocky, Colt, and Tum Tum learn to perform their good deeds unselfishly without clamoring for approbation.

Surely even children packed off to weekend karate classes expect more than this indifferently choreographed Lilliputian action film. Laced with Eastern versions of tea-bag homilies, the civic lesson on Native American affairs is a combination of low blows and high moral posturing. There is also a ludicrous tribal dance number inspired by Disney on Parade that can only be described as "Ninjarobics." Atrociously acted, word-processed rather than screenwritten, and directed as if the crew were out of breath from too many kick-boxing demos, 3 NINJAS KNUCKLE UP will have viewers knuckling under. leave a comment

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